Women must have it ALL

A speech for Area Level International Speech Contest. 

 

(Opening Scene. Running on a treadmill.Panting.)

2 km. 4 km. I need to do 10 km today. Yesterday I looked so fat in that dress! I should probably start pilates or yoga, join some class…but my gardening would suffer then…maybe I can steal some homework time for this..oh no no no..i can’t do that…it’s about my kid’s future after all…if that smug mrs do-it-all sharma’s son gets better grades, how am I going to face the mirror? Talking of mirrors, the one in the bedroom needs some shining…let me meet the maid today..i’ll show her how cleaning is supposed to be done! For that matter, cooking as well. Oh..what time is it….gosh!

(Stop Panting) Mr. Contest master, fellow toastmasters and whoever has run on the spot without getting anywhere…good morning..rise and shine and glimpse into the world of a superwoman… the all powerful, omnipresent, <speaking very fast> always fresh, always ready, always there for you, never late, never wrong, the best daughter, the best sister, the best friend, the best wife, the best mother, the best employee, the best project manager <stop speaking very fast, deep breath>..….your own fine superwoman…..miss perfect. What? Did you say nobody is perfect?

Well....i am nobody. And everybody. Unique…one and only…just like everyone else! Or, am i? Pause for effect.

Funny how things happen and wake you up when you are least expecting them to…me and my husband went to our friends’ place a few days back. They had the most beautifully kept house..spic and span…the tiles were so clean you could bend over and check if your lipstick’s still good! The bathrooms so spruced up and redolent, you’d almost end up apologizing to the toilet seat after relieving yourself. <pause for audience laughter> Naturally, my competitive instinct told me to look down upon myself and berate me for being a lax homemaker..what kind of a woman was I if my floor tiles were simply clean..and not reflective..or if the bathroom smelled just good, and not aromatic? 

Oh..the shame of it! Like other things of prime importance in my world, I ended up discussing this with my husband. “Did you see the kitchen? The cook top was virginal….as if nothing was ever prepared on it! The lady of the house must have a magic wand.” The answer he gave me was an eye opener, “Oh yeah…the sorcerer! Her amazing housekeeping skills automatically make her the best person that ever existed, isn’t it? And by corollary, it makes you the worst…because you live in a digital world..either 1..or 0.”

Well….even if he was saying this just for me to stop nagging him about his shoes lying here and there, he did have a point. What have we done to ourselves? The double whammy of guilt laden with consumerism has led to ever increasing expectations, and we are now slaves to it. We’ve gone beyond mere obsessive-compulsiveness and landed into the realm of ‘the superwoman complex’. The idea that one can do everything…and why can….one has to do everything. Phrases like just a housewife, just a mother, just a career woman….hurt us….we feel dishonored by them.

With decades and centuries of crusading for women’s rights…right from a suffragette in the 20^th century to the neo-feminists of the day…what is everyone fighting for if the object of the movement – woman - is its worst adversary! What we really need, first and foremost, is freedom from this superwoman cape. This garment of incessant unnecessary burdens that we ourselves have proudly adorned ourselves with. Who said looking fat is disgraceful…do yoga if you feel like..who said gardening is essential…if it is, hire a gardener. Who said the poor mirror will disown you if mrs. Sharma’s son excels in his studies! Take it easy ladies! Lets try being happy with good…or just ok. Sheryl Sandberg says “Lean In!”, Indira Nooyi say “Women can’t have it all”….Melissa Mayer has some radically different ideas. And us ordinary women think we must have it all. Well, if you do want to have it all, let it be A Little Leisure. (make a, L, L symbols with fingers as you say it.)

This ended up being a runner-up speech that day.